Buddha Nature…where for art thou?

While on vacation in beautiful Montana, this post written over a year and a half ago came back to me. I know the lesson I felt at the time is right, that I should not make inner peace a “to do” item, but being here and being so relaxed (or as much as I can be with the littles) is again, forcing me to reevaluate how to find that inner peace and worry-free calm when I get back home.
How do you find your Zen?

I am not sure how long I have been looking, but I feel like it has been a while. I have read multiple books and sought out various professionals and friends but still, where is my Buddha Nature? Apparently, we all have one and can tap into it at any time and reach enlightenment at any given moment. I am a bit of an overachiever and I think at this point I am merely frustrated by the fact that I have not tapped in yet.

If anything, I feel more at peace with my life than ever before yet I have far less time to create the space I need. I don’t think I would have been capable of locating this mysterious Buddha Nature at any point before my 30’s. And if anything, I need to find this thing more than ever, now!

There are so many books about mindfulness and motherhood and I have read quite a few. I have tried all the tricks, focusing on my body throughout the day, taking in the moment, relaxing my face, even smiling at random points. I tried to smile when I came upon a red stop light as a new tactic to find my inner peace. The best I got was a few strange looks from the car next to me wondering what that creepy lady in the minivan was smiling about!

I do not think I will give up on this search but am wondering if the only thing I am achieving by searching is just more guilt and stress over the “need to be better”. When I really get down to the brass tacks, I have beautiful children, loving husband, lovely home, supportive family and friends. Could this be my Buddha Nature in disguise? Am I looking in the wrong places or expecting something other than what I already have…assuming that what I want MUST be better?

There is no life without stress, trials, tribulations, tired days, irritations. Would we truly enjoy our days without those things as our measure?

While I may find enlightenment one day, I may have to hang up the “to do” of finding it today.

19 thoughts on “Buddha Nature…where for art thou?

  1. I think we can have moments of it. I feel a special kind of happy when I am playing and singing along to fav songs., I always feel lifted in, those, moments despite any other stuff going on in my life. Perhaps it’s just, about finding those things? I’m glad, I saw this post as it has reminded me of this and now I’m going to go and play some great tunes. My 2 yr old even loves some of them! When I put them on in the car, if he is particularly pleased he says “more!” right after it finishes lol

  2. I have a hard time with the concept of ‘carpe diem’ and zen. I think I am too frazzled and possibly neurotic for it. I do believe that each day has a few special nuggets of peace and joy. Sometimes I forget to appreciate them because I’m too busy trying to catch my breath.

  3. What’s the saying? The happiest people in the world don’t have the best of everything, they make the best of everything they have. It’s a hard lesson to learn and practice, but I’m working on it and it helps! It’s not easy when I have so many balls to juggle, but I have found stressing over them just makes my hands sweaty and that causes me to loose my grip and let them slip! Loved this post! Glad you dug it out!

  4. Great post, I really enjoyed this. It is very easy to think we need to strive for things to be perfect in our lives. As you said, how would we know what ‘perfect’ was without imperfections right? But there is no ‘perfect’ really, just real life and I’m doing my best to just relax and take life as it comes, seize those joyful moments and run with them 🙂

  5. I was obsessed with zenhabits for years. It’s all about minimalism. That has helped me a lot over the years as I try to find inner peace but when the baby came, I’m finding many of the principles very difficult to follow since they all revolve around a minimalist lifestyle. I don’t know, maybe zen and motherhood don’t really go together, especially in the early years?

    • I think that is true, it is hard with small children to find complete peace, I guess it is just about the small moments and noticing them even when you are completely worn out. That’s my problem…taking notice of those peaceful and zen moments when they are there.

  6. I start out each day with good intention but somewhere between all the chaos with 3 kids I get a bit overwhelmed and frazzled. At the end of the day I can usually reflect and see all of the good things but in the moments of motherhood it’s hard with all of the responsibility!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s