The Many Faces of Me

Today I am reflecting on the many identities I have taken on over the years. Similar to my father who I do not have a relationship with but who passed on some of his flighty genetics, I dive headfirst into a new idea, project or hobby and let it become and define me. While it is a fun ride when in the throes of a new obsession, it is always a letdown when it ends and I have little to show from my madness.

Here is a short list of the many identities I have had through the years:

Hippie until the Patchouli eventually wore off

Feminist philosopher- can’t say that one fully died away

Wannabe veterinarian until I learned how to express anal glands which led to the less icky job of…

Animal welfare activist working fundraising until I had children

Studying CPA until I had my daughter and found numbers way too boring in comparison

Grocery list designer/entrepreneur until only a few businesses sold them and the rest went to a natural foods co-op

Brilliant idea while sleep deprived with my first born. I designed and distributed these categorized grocery lists

Brilliant idea while sleep-deprived with my first born. I designed and distributed these categorized grocery lists

Buddhist until I got tired of reading books about it

Knitter until I finished a 4×4 square and felt satiated

Seamstress until I completed an ugly dress

 

001

001

oh naive one

I made burp cloths too!

002

And now, blogger.

Writing has been my passion from a young age and blogging is a fun way to fulfill that passion while gathering feedback and friends as a bonus. The problem is that I am currently in a slump, creatively constipated. I fear that my burning addiction will run its course but I don’t want it too. I want, for once, to stick to something I start. Writing makes me happy and I need to keep the flame stoked while allowing down times to occur.

The woman I am hoping to be from this point on is just me. I am 35 years old and defining myself through what I do is no longer acceptable. I am a jack of many trades but want only to be the master of my domain which can include anything I decide to jump into along the way as long as it is for fun and not definition. Finally, after years of searching, I believe I’ve found myself and hope that it is not just another passing gig.

How many faces have you had? How do you stay focused?

32 thoughts on “The Many Faces of Me

  1. I am the same way. I think society tends to define people by what they do, and so we get obsessed with what it is we are doing. When really what matters is who we are. At 33, I’m slowly starting to accept that and get the strength to let that shine through in public.

  2. 🙂 Just go with it – no one but you says you have to finish a project. And, I’ll tell you right now that you should always be changing – always trying new things – always moving forward. When you stop that, well, you aren’t living anymore. I love reading about your passion and how you delve in 150%, and when it fizzles, well, that just means it’s time for something new!

    So – force yourself to keep writing. You love it! Then pick and adventure tell us about it! Go cross something off your bucket list and then tell us about it!

    • Thanks for the encouragement Kate! I really appreciate your comment. I need some inspiration, maybe that’s my clue to dive into some new “thing” to write about 🙂 Origami, underwater basket-weaving? I forgot to add that I was a juicer…meaning veggie/fruit juicing until the cleanup process was just too much. haha

      • hehehehehe – my mom recently went through that phase… I think the massive juicer is now back in it’s space under the counter!

        One thing she has taught me is that it’s okay to follow your bliss and it’s okay if your bliss changes! 🙂

  3. Sounds like you’ve had some great experiences. Good for you! Keep up the great work at living life and don’t worry about how to define yourself. Definitions are for words, life is for people 🙂

  4. You are not alone! If you think about it, we’re different people all week long, depending on who we’re with/what we’re doing. At work, I’m “Teacher Gina,” and at home, I’m “Mommy Gina,” and at Panera, I’m “Writer Gina” (and also “Soup Loving Gina”). I think it builds character to go through phases and to have experiences. Good for you for exploring that and for continuing to unearth new things about yourself!!

  5. Oh gosh I can so relate to this!!! And I agree with the comment saying that society focuses so much in what we do rather than who we are (most educational systems are about the do and not the be’. This confuses us about our journey about individuals and what achievements should look like for example getting pay increases in the same dead end job rather than try out other vocations, other ways of expressing all facets of who you are. Anyway, considering how your post struck a chord with so many of us, this must mean that you are doing something right, girl! Big hugs xo

    • Thank you! Everyone’s kind words are certainly making me see this side of myself differently…almost in a positive light rather than someone who can’t ever follow through 🙂

  6. Guilty as charged. 🙂

    I guess the way I justify my head-first-jumping-in to the latest thing that interests me is this: When something ignites your passion, go for it!

    Like you, Kerry, I worry that my passion for writing may fizzle, but then I remember that it’s my experiences that drive my writing. i.e. I live it, and then I write it. I think that you’re doing the right thing in not forcing the writing. When something juicy bubbles up, you’ll write. Just like you did with this post – and look how it resonated with your readers!

    It’s the act of living that feeds the stories we tell, I think. And I, for one, would rather wait a week or two for a heart-felt, real and interesting post from a blogger, versus a daily update on what groceries they bought that afternoon.

    • I agree wholeheartedly! And you know the funny thing is, when I allow that empty space of zero creativity to happen, the next day or so it fills up with a bunch of ideas.”Must create space” is the lesson I am learning this year.

  7. It’s 4.20am and a combination of a late night and being woken up 3 times in 4 hours by my little boy means I cannot now get back to sleep. At this time of morning my brain goes into overdrive and I was sitting here worrying about how I never seem to be able to stick to one thing and whether I will actually find my ‘thing’ when I came across this post of yours that I’d previously missed. I could have written this myself, goodness, reading this has made me feel so much better to know that I’m not the only one who thinks these things! Love the comments and love the post 🙂

  8. Pingback: Lifting the Heart | Winding Road

  9. Wow! This has given me so much solace too. And I am 42! I guess there is always time. Or maybe who I am is someone flighty? 🙂

    Also, I always think that it’s not a GREAT yoga class unless I cry. Seriously. I think our bodies carry a lot of our old emotions, and good yoga helps release them. I love a good cry in corpse pose after a wonderful yoga class….ahhh. Making me wish I was going tonight.

  10. I have lots of things that make up my identity. Some I stick to a lot, some these days seem to only be mere memories. But even if I am not actively doing them they shaped me. Don’t give up I enjoy interacting with you on my and your blog!

  11. Pingback: Revisiting April Goals | Winding Road

  12. Pingback: Finding My Balance Again | Winding Road

  13. Pingback: Diary of a Yoga Teacher Trainee | Winding Road

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s